Every February, the wine world trots out the same tired advice: buy something red, preferably with romantic label art, and present it to your beloved; as if a $15 bottle of Merlot absolves you of anything. It doesn’t. Eleven months of leaving the toilet seat up and only one square left on the roll requires more than a last-minute bottle from the grocery store end cap. The sentiment is fine, I suppose, but the execution lacks imagination and, more importantly, effort.

This year I propose we shift gears. Rather than focusing on what wine to buy your significant other, let’s focus on what you can do for them, with the wine serving as liquid accompaniment to your redemption arc. I recently received a bottle from Adobe Road Winery featuring a vintage car gear shift as the bottle stopper, complete with a metal plate showing Reverse, Neutral, and first through fifth gears. It seemed less like a wine accessory and more like relationship instructions. So, I built a Valentine’s Day progression around it, moving from humble acknowledgment to full throttle effort, with four wines marking the journey.

Reverse: Look Back Before Moving Forward

Before you can venture anywhere worth going, you need to glance in the rearview mirror. This is the moment for reflection, for acknowledging that perhaps you have not been operating at peak romantic capacity. Maybe you forgot something important. Maybe you have been distracted by work, or football, or that project in the garage that somehow always takes priority over quality time. Reverse is not about groveling, but it is about genuine recognition that you could do better.

The wine for this moment needs to be humble but not pathetic, celebratory enough to signal good intentions without presuming forgiveness. A sparkling wine fits perfectly, and the Vouvray Clos Saint Mathurin Sparkling Méthode Traditionnelle 2018 ($28) delivers exactly the right tone. Made from 100% Chenin Blanc in France’s Loire Valley using the same traditional method as Champagne, this wine offers bright yellow apple and Asian pear notes with a hint of chamomile honey and that biscuity quality that comes from time on the lees (expired yeast that gave their lives for the love of the wine). The bubbles say “I’m trying” while the elegance says “I have taste.” Pour two glasses, sit down, and actually listen to their day without checking your phone.

Park: Just Stop

Sometimes the most romantic thing you can do is simply be present. No agenda, no grand plans, no elaborate gestures that somehow still end up being about you. Put it in park. Turn off the engine. Sit together on the couch without reaching for the remote or scrolling through anything. This is not about doing, it is about being, which turns out to be harder than it sounds, particularly for those of us who measure our worth in completed tasks.

The moment calls for tranquility, but the wine can still be layered and rewarding. The Unti Vermentino 2024 ($38) from Dry Creek Valley delivers both. I recently visited Sonoma County, and Dry Creek Valley reminded me why California wine country still matters, especially when you get off the beaten path. Much Vermentino on the market is simple and underwhelming, but not this one. Made in the style of Ligurian Vermentino, it offers apricot, honeydew, orchard blossom and a nervy saline-laden acidity, with enough texture and complexity to reward your attention if you choose to offer it. Or you can simply sip and be present. The wine works either way as this may be the best Vermentino I’ve had, domestic or otherwise.

Neutral: Coast a Little

Now we are moving, or rather gently drifting. Neutral is where effort begins to show without overwhelming. This is foot rub territory. This is offering to handle the kids’ bedtime routine or taking the dog out in the cold without being asked. You are not racing anywhere, just letting momentum build naturally, showing through small actions that you are paying attention.

The Taboadella Villae 1255 Unoaked 2023 ($22) from Portugal’s Dão region matches this energy beautifully. The winery describes it as a “perfect marriage” of four grape varieties, which feels almost too on the nose for a Valentine’s piece, but here we are. Tinta Roriz brings the tannin backbone, Jaen adds acidity and minerality, Alfrocheiro contributes color and structure, and Tinta Pinheira offers forest and savory spice aromatics. Each variety plays its role, and because the wine sees no oak, just time in cement tulip tanks that soften the tannins and add a sexy mouthfeel, you taste the purity of their collaboration rather than the winemaker’s heavy hand. The sum of these cooperating varieties is greater than the individuals. Remind you of something? Cherry, blackberry, and plum mingle with an earthy, crushed herbal undertone, making this a wine worth sharing with someone who makes you a better you.

Drop It in Gear and Hit the Gas

You have reflected, you have been present, you have made the gentle effort. Now it is time to commit. You are cooking dinner tonight, and you are doing the dishes afterward, because you planned this in advance, bought the ingredients, and your significant other does not even need to lift a finger from the moment they walk through the door. This is full throttle Valentine’s Day, and it requires a wine that matches the moment.

Adobe Road Winery The Racing Series, SHIFT 2021 ($65) is that wine. This Zinfandel-heavy blend from Sonoma and Santa Barbara Counties comes with that gear shift bottle stopper that started this whole concept, a visual declaration that you are ready to drive. The supporting cast of Teroldego, Syrah, and Carignane adds depth and intrigue to the Zinfandel’s bold foundation. The wine delivers ripe dark fruit (blackberry, blueberry, currant), baking spice (anise, allspice, peppercorn), and enough structure to stand up to whatever you are making for dinner, though I suggest something both impressive and within your actual skill set. There is no romance in a smoke alarm, trust me, I have worn that T-shirt. The Shift is full-bodied and confident, a wine that knows what it is doing, which is hopefully how you appear by this point in the evening.

If all goes well, you might just find your way back to Reverse again. But this time, in the best possible way. I hope you and yours have a happy and heartfelt Valentine’s Day.